Nineteen Years

It's been a long time since the cold, wintry day when Erik and I got married. But even after all these years, that February day still stands out in my mind just as cold and just as wintry. Ha, ha, I'll bet you thought I was going to get romantic. No way. If you saw our pink noses and my purple hands holding the bouquet in our wedding pictures, you would wonder why we were smiling at all. I think my lips were frozen to the saliva on my teeth.

Oh, I love my husband. We are perfect compliments to each other. Between his sense of humor and my constant goal-setting, we're sure to stay on the path to happiness (or laugh as we get sidetracked). And with his technical abilities and my creative spark, there isn't a problem we can't solve. Mr. and Mrs. Incredible, please step aside.

We don't usually celebrate big, and we weren't going to do anything fancy this year because of our concerns over the economy, (and Erik has plans to funnel all our money into finishing his Cobra), but yesterday he surprised me by sending flowers. Not just any flowers either. Three dozen long stemmed red roses arrived via FedEx. He's so good to me. And I'm good to him too, letting him buy all those Cobra parts. As we settled into bed after our anniversary, Erik said if he had the choice, he would do it all over again. I would too BUT... I would make a few alterations. Wouldn't you, if you had the chance? Be honest.

Next year we will celebrate big. I figure any couple that can make it through twenty years of ups and downs deserves some sort of prize. My prize is travel, which I never got to do because we married so young and poor (that's the part I would change). At Thanksgiving I announced my plan to visit Sweden for our twentieth anniversay, inviting Erik to go with me if he wanted. After a time of contemplation, he decided Sweden was okay and that he would like to go too. I'm so glad. It's going to be a blast! He's leaving all the planning to me, knowing I'll make it interesting for both of us, happy just to be together. I feel the same. I love this stage we're at--able to be spontaneous again, watching the kids gain independence, seeing a string of past success, looking forward with high hopes. It feels like all our hard work and sacrifices are finally paying off. Of course, we don't really have to go to Sweden to be happy, but when we've consistently let other opportunities pass so that we would be better prepared for the future, isn't the wait long enough? Sweden is my chance to do something amazing with the person I love most in the world. That seems a worthy cause to me. Some day when we're old and gray and another cold February comes along, we'll look at each other lovingly and say, "Remember that trip to Sweden?" and we'll laugh over some shared memory that only we understand. Priceless.

And that, my friends, is the secret to a successful marriage: loving the one you're with, and loving where you are. Happy Valentine's Day!